From grief to new beginnings

After spending 22 years in the hair industry, Ben’s path took a swerve in 2018 when he and his friend Jack made a big decision. Ben’s father was terminally ill when they first met, and Jack had already lost his own father. The two bonded over the grief that shaped their lives. 

They wanted to take action and help others going through a similar experience – so they decided to launch The New Normal Charity, a peer support network that provides a safe space for people going through bereavement and mental health challenges. 

Since then the charity has grown to host over 30 free peer support meetings every month for people all over the world. For Ben, the charity’s mission is clear: “We believe mental health and bereavement care should be free and accessible for all.”

A sanctuary on wheels

Ben’s journey with cycling didn’t start with a grand plan. He first decided to ride in 2017 to raise money for charity, but what started as a simple act of donating quickly turned into something much more personal. Over time, the bike became much more than just a mode of transportation — it became his escape.

“There was something so peaceful about being on a bike and for me it gave me a sanctuary that I didn’t have in my life at the time,” Ben reflects. The simple act of pedalling through the parks provided him with the mental space he needed — a place where he could breathe, think, and reflect on what was happening in his life.

Reflection while riding

In a world where we’re constantly connected, Ben found that cycling offered him something rare — peace. He recognised that for many people, the end of a long day meant collapsing in front of the TV, scrolling through social media or distracting themselves from the stresses of life. 

Ben noticed this pattern in his own life and how cycling offered him a much-needed alternative. “When we come home from a long day we’re tired and we want to sit down and forget what has happened or what we’re going through,” Ben explains. “We put on the TV, have a drink, or do whatever we can to relax, but ultimately ignore the feelings we have.”

Instead of running away from those emotions, cycling allowed him to confront them in a way that felt manageable. “The bike allows me to think about those things, to reflect and to consider what I need,” he says. Cycling became a form of active meditation — giving Ben the mental clarity he needed to process his emotions and make sense of the grief and challenges he was facing.

For many, the act of reflection can feel overwhelming, but for Ben, cycling offered a structured and calming way to do it.

The power of side-by-side connection

While cycling has been crucial to Ben’s mental health journey, the foundation of his healing has been rooted in connection. The New Normal is built on the power of peer support — the idea that healing happens when people come together to share their experiences in a safe, non-judgmental space.

Ben’s own experience with grief taught him the importance of speaking openly about loss and mental health, but he also recognised that these conversations can be difficult. That’s why he offers a simple but powerful piece of advice to those wanting to open up: “When you’re wanting to speak to someone, walk side by side. This way we’re not looking at someone's reaction in their expression, and it allows us to feel more comfortable to share and open up.”

Ben found that cycling, much like walking side by side, offers the same opportunity for open communication without the pressure of direct eye contact. “On a bike, that sense of ease is amplified — people often share far more than they usually would, just because there is a liberating sense of freedom coupled with verbal, not non-verbal, communication.” The physical act of moving forward mirrors the emotional progress that can be made in these important conversations.

Memorable milestones

One ride that stands out to Ben is the 600km challenge he completed in 2022 with his friend Tim. Over 20 hours they cycled around Richmond and Regent’s Park in typically-British October weather. “It was cold, windy and rained through the night, but we had incredible support from friends,” Ben remembers. Together they raised close to £8,000 for The New Normal – “we were both so proud of our effort.”

Learn more about The New Normal

Ben’s mental health journey is a reminder that difficult times don’t have to be experienced alone. Whether through cycling, peer support, or simply having open conversations, there are many paths to healing.

If Ben’s story resonates with you or you’d like to learn more about The New Normal Charity, visit www.thenewnormalcharity.org or follow them on Instagram at @tnncharity. The charity is always welcoming new members to offer free support meetings for those dealing with grief and mental health challenges.

Finding your own sanctuary

Ben’s story reminds us of the importance of finding a space — whether it’s through cycling, walking, or something else. In a world that often prioritises distraction, taking time to focus on your mental health is key to healing.

So this World Mental Health Day, consider how you can create your own healing journey and reach out to others who may be struggling. Whether you find peace on a bike, in nature, or through conversation, remember that support is available and that you don’t have to face life’s challenges alone.