Ever splashed out on a pampering treat but left with more muscles to unknot?

Here’s why we prefer to bring the spa to you:

1. The etiquette
Where should you be naked? Should you be naked anywhere? Are these strangers judging your body? And why, for the love of God, are you only allowed one towel?

2. The cost
Ever look around the relaxation room, its interior design, the selection of odd herbal teas and random magazines and think, ‘this is what I’m paying for?’ With an outcall massage at home in London you’re only paying for your treatment, not the random extras.

3. The other clients
You’re having a lovely relaxing massage, the gentle hands of your masseuse unpicking your muscles while you breathe deep, enjoying the essential oils. But through the walls, you can hear one woman gossip as she has her nails done and another yelping in pain during a bikini wax. Mellow, harshed.

4. The getting there
Spas are invariably in country houses – beautiful, but in the middle of nowhere – or city centre hotels – yuck. So off you schlep, thinking ‘but I just want a massage near me!’

5. The whalesong
What is it with spas and whalesong? The haunting communiques of this majestic beast are neither musical nor relaxing. Who knows what they’re saying to each other? At home, you can choose a soundtrack that actually relaxes you – whether that’s Mozart or Meatloaf; if you really can’t get enough of whalesong, here’s some trickling water and Free Willy having a chit-chat.

6. The buzz-kill
You walk out of the spa or salon on a cloud, your shoulders knot-free and your mind clear. Then you get stuck in traffic, or surrounded by sweaty commuters on the journey home. And guess what – you’ve seen the last of that hard-bought sense of zen.

READ: A pre-massage makeover for your home, in 5 simple steps